The events and experiences contained in this article can now be seen in two films, Point and Shoot<\/a> and Gaddafi’s American Prisoner<\/a><\/h2>\n![\"Matthew](\"http:\/\/www.matthewvandyke.com\/images\/matthew-vandyke-pow-libya.jpg\" "\\"Matthew")
Freedom fighter and prisoner of war Matthew VanDyke in his cell at Maktab al-Nasser prison in Tripoli, Libya<\/p><\/div>\n
One year ago today on March 13, 2011 I was captured by\u00a0Gaddafi’s forces\u00a0during a reconnaissance mission in Brega, Libya.\u00a0 I was struck in the head and woke up in a prison cell to the sounds of a man being tortured in the room above me.<\/p>\n
I\u00a0was psychologically tortured in solitary confinement for\u00a0165 days in two of Libya’s\u00a0most notorious prisons, Maktab al-Nasser<\/a> and Abu Salim<\/a>.<\/p>\nStaring at the wall in silence for 5 1\/2 months\u00a0gave me\u00a0a lot of time for reflection.\u00a0 These are some of the thoughts that went through my mind:<\/p>\n
My life is over.\u00a0 I have thrown it all away.<\/em><\/p>\nI will never see my mother again.\u00a0 I am an only child and she has no other family.\u00a0 I have selfishly left her all\u00a0alone.\u00a0 She will never be able to move on and will spend the rest of her life trying to get me freed.\u00a0 If they ever release me I will be 50 or 60 years old and just starting my life when others are retiring.\u00a0 Hopefully I will still have at least a couple of years left with my mother.<\/em><\/p>\nI will never see my girlfriend again.\u00a0 Six years of true love that most people only know of through books and movies.\u00a0 If I do get to see her again it will be in 30 years.\u00a0 I will meet her husband and her children, and wish they were my children, and think of what could have been.<\/em><\/p>\nGaddafi’s\u00a0regime believes I am a spy.\u00a0 They will torture me.\u00a0 They will rip out my fingernails one by one until I confess.<\/em><\/p>\nAnd then they will execute me.\u00a0 Perhaps in public.\u00a0 Maybe Gaddafi himself will preside over the execution, as they hang me by the neck in Green Square.\u00a0 That would not be the worse that could happen.\u00a0 At least a public execution would limit my suffering to a few moments before it all goes dark.\u00a0 A secret execution might be slow and painful.\u00a0 Or angry guards might break into my cell, stack tires up to my neck, douse me with gasoline and light me on fire.<\/em><\/p>\nMaybe I am better off dead, so that my mother and girlfriend can have some closure.<\/em><\/p>\nMaybe I should take my own life.<\/em><\/p>\nI hope that the men I was captured with are ok.\u00a0 Are they still alive or were they executed?\u00a0 How did I get this wound on the left side of my head and why can\u2019t I remember what happened?<\/em><\/p>\nI know nothing except the\u00a0confines of my cell.\u00a0 And it is likely that this cell\u00a0is all I will know for the rest of my life.<\/em><\/p>\nIs it wrong to fight for freedom?\u00a0 Is freedom worth fighting, killing, dying for?\u00a0 Have I committed a sin and is God punishing me for it?\u00a0 Or has God saved me from committing sin by taking away my mortal life to save my immortal soul?<\/em><\/p>\nWas the freedom of others worth this sacrifice, worth spending the rest of my life in solitary confinement staring at gray walls and thinking of what my life could have been like if I hadn\u2019t gotten on that plane and\u00a0gone to Libya?<\/em><\/p>\nThese are a fraction of the thoughts that\u00a0ran through my head for 5 \u00bd months.\u00a0 165 days.\u00a0 Nearly 4,000 hours.\u00a0 Sitting in a wretched Libyan prison, staring at scratches on the wall marking the days of the\u00a0prisoners before me and watching in horror as my own scratches became double and triple the number of theirs.<\/p>\n
My story is only unique because I am an American freedom fighter, an American prisoner of war in the Arab Spring<\/a>.\u00a0 As you read this there are thousands of others in prisons who are tortured by the same thoughts, the same questions, the same doubts.\u00a0 Some of them have been in prison for many years; others were imprisoned for protesting in the street or fighting for freedom on\u00a0the battlefield in countries like Syria<\/a>.\u00a0 Many others suffer in these dungeons merely for something they wrote or an off-hand remark they made that was overheard by a regime informer.<\/p>\nI was fortunate.\u00a0 On August 24, 2011 escaping prisoners came to my cell, broke the lock, opened the door, and took me with them as we ran for our lives<\/a>.\u00a0 It is time that we begin doing the same for the hundreds of thousands of political prisoners and freedom fighters around the world who have sacrificed their personal liberty in the pursuit of liberty for all<\/a>.<\/p>\nIn the words of George Orwell:<\/p>\n
\u201cEither we all live in a decent world, or nobody does.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Gaddafi’s Prisoner – Reflections on My Time as a POW in the Libyan Civil War (also available in French here) The events and experiences contained in this article can now be seen in two films, Point and Shoot and Gaddafi’s … Continue reading
Freedom fighter and prisoner of war Matthew VanDyke in his cell at Maktab al-Nasser prison in Tripoli, Libya<\/p><\/div>\n
One year ago today on March 13, 2011 I was captured by\u00a0Gaddafi’s forces\u00a0during a reconnaissance mission in Brega, Libya.\u00a0 I was struck in the head and woke up in a prison cell to the sounds of a man being tortured in the room above me.<\/p>\n
I\u00a0was psychologically tortured in solitary confinement for\u00a0165 days in two of Libya’s\u00a0most notorious prisons, Maktab al-Nasser<\/a> and Abu Salim<\/a>.<\/p>\n Staring at the wall in silence for 5 1\/2 months\u00a0gave me\u00a0a lot of time for reflection.\u00a0 These are some of the thoughts that went through my mind:<\/p>\n My life is over.\u00a0 I have thrown it all away.<\/em><\/p>\n I will never see my mother again.\u00a0 I am an only child and she has no other family.\u00a0 I have selfishly left her all\u00a0alone.\u00a0 She will never be able to move on and will spend the rest of her life trying to get me freed.\u00a0 If they ever release me I will be 50 or 60 years old and just starting my life when others are retiring.\u00a0 Hopefully I will still have at least a couple of years left with my mother.<\/em><\/p>\n I will never see my girlfriend again.\u00a0 Six years of true love that most people only know of through books and movies.\u00a0 If I do get to see her again it will be in 30 years.\u00a0 I will meet her husband and her children, and wish they were my children, and think of what could have been.<\/em><\/p>\n Gaddafi’s\u00a0regime believes I am a spy.\u00a0 They will torture me.\u00a0 They will rip out my fingernails one by one until I confess.<\/em><\/p>\n And then they will execute me.\u00a0 Perhaps in public.\u00a0 Maybe Gaddafi himself will preside over the execution, as they hang me by the neck in Green Square.\u00a0 That would not be the worse that could happen.\u00a0 At least a public execution would limit my suffering to a few moments before it all goes dark.\u00a0 A secret execution might be slow and painful.\u00a0 Or angry guards might break into my cell, stack tires up to my neck, douse me with gasoline and light me on fire.<\/em><\/p>\n Maybe I am better off dead, so that my mother and girlfriend can have some closure.<\/em><\/p>\n Maybe I should take my own life.<\/em><\/p>\n I hope that the men I was captured with are ok.\u00a0 Are they still alive or were they executed?\u00a0 How did I get this wound on the left side of my head and why can\u2019t I remember what happened?<\/em><\/p>\n I know nothing except the\u00a0confines of my cell.\u00a0 And it is likely that this cell\u00a0is all I will know for the rest of my life.<\/em><\/p>\n Is it wrong to fight for freedom?\u00a0 Is freedom worth fighting, killing, dying for?\u00a0 Have I committed a sin and is God punishing me for it?\u00a0 Or has God saved me from committing sin by taking away my mortal life to save my immortal soul?<\/em><\/p>\n Was the freedom of others worth this sacrifice, worth spending the rest of my life in solitary confinement staring at gray walls and thinking of what my life could have been like if I hadn\u2019t gotten on that plane and\u00a0gone to Libya?<\/em><\/p>\n These are a fraction of the thoughts that\u00a0ran through my head for 5 \u00bd months.\u00a0 165 days.\u00a0 Nearly 4,000 hours.\u00a0 Sitting in a wretched Libyan prison, staring at scratches on the wall marking the days of the\u00a0prisoners before me and watching in horror as my own scratches became double and triple the number of theirs.<\/p>\n My story is only unique because I am an American freedom fighter, an American prisoner of war in the Arab Spring<\/a>.\u00a0 As you read this there are thousands of others in prisons who are tortured by the same thoughts, the same questions, the same doubts.\u00a0 Some of them have been in prison for many years; others were imprisoned for protesting in the street or fighting for freedom on\u00a0the battlefield in countries like Syria<\/a>.\u00a0 Many others suffer in these dungeons merely for something they wrote or an off-hand remark they made that was overheard by a regime informer.<\/p>\n I was fortunate.\u00a0 On August 24, 2011 escaping prisoners came to my cell, broke the lock, opened the door, and took me with them as we ran for our lives<\/a>.\u00a0 It is time that we begin doing the same for the hundreds of thousands of political prisoners and freedom fighters around the world who have sacrificed their personal liberty in the pursuit of liberty for all<\/a>.<\/p>\n In the words of George Orwell:<\/p>\n \u201cEither we all live in a decent world, or nobody does.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Gaddafi’s Prisoner – Reflections on My Time as a POW in the Libyan Civil War (also available in French here) The events and experiences contained in this article can now be seen in two films, Point and Shoot and Gaddafi’s … Continue reading